2014 Reading: Blood and Circumstance

So, I made it a mission to keep track of all the books I read this year. Because I read A LOT.  I had been throwing around the idea of doing something for it on my YouTube channel, but then I just figured that since I hate being in front of the camera as it is (as you can tell from my stellar performances in my vlogs so far), I might as well just do them on the blog.  I'm being all gung-ho about it right now anyway, but don't worry, that might change after inevitable failure.

The first thing I decided to read (something small so that I could just get my brain back in gear after finishing The Butcher Boy which made me hate POV/stream-of-conscious/British people, and if you know me, you know I LOVE those things most of the time) was Blood and Circumstance by Frank Turner Hollon, who, I did not know until I finished the book, is a lawyer in Alabama. The more you know.

I found myself really enjoying this book. It was a quick read (I would have finished it sooner had I not attempted a social life and also gotten distracted by episodes of 'Alfred Hitchcock Presents') and turned out to have some of my favorite subjects tied into it without being too gory. (I like serial killers, let's be honest.)

For me, this book tied in themes of religion, philosophy, as well as mental illness, and just plain psychosis and the power of the mind within harsh situations.  It got straight to the point without being too succinct, but also had just enough detail to be relatable and intriguing.

...and doesn't THAT sound like something that a book reviewer might say?

Ugh, whatever. I still liked the book.  It had some parts that I really identified with, such as the subjects on God and the possibility that life ultimately has no meaning except to the individual, and the all around pessimistic life view that I have was mirrored by the main character.

I've taken the habit of marking pages that I find interesting or arousing (mentally as well as physically) in the books that I read and there are three particular sections that stood out to me while reading that I thought I might share.  It's not my intention to give away any spoilers for the book, but I really wanted to point out some of the things that I loved about reading this novel.

"'You know, how do we really know anyway?  How do 

we know that when I see red, it's the same red you see?  

Why is it we believe there only one realty, and not a different 

world through different eyes?  It's comforting to 

believe there's one truth, but who the hell can really say 

what's rational to me was rational to Danny?" (p75)

This reminded me of so many discussions in Philosophy class.

"[...] There are three groups of

people.  All of us fall into one of the categories.  There are

certain people who will fuck up their lives no matter

what.  There are certain people who will succeed no matter

what.  And then there's everybody else, all those people

who will fuck up or succeed depending on the place in

this life, their parents, circumstances beyond their control.

  Victims, or beneficiaries, of the world." (p112)

Now, that's just me every day of the week.  I like to think I fall into the third category, but moments (a lot of them) tell me that I might be in the first category.  It's a sad thing to think about yourself, but maybe that's just my reality; the way I see my own reality.

"[...] It's just the idea of God doesn't fit.  If time and space are infinite, 

and nothing we do really matters, why would 

God put us in such a place?  And if we're required to recognize

 the bleak reality to survive, and then take the next 

step to self-reliance, where is God in all that?  I'm not a 

devil worshipper.  I'm a realist." (p129)

I've never really been religious, even though I was brought up in a Catholic household (not strict or anything), but this is a question that I've heard a lot, whether it be from friends of mine who are atheist or just my own head when I'm thinking too hard about life when I'm stuck in self-misery (often).

There are no real answers that I can gain from this book, but it was a very good read and I would recommend this to anyone who listens.

While trying not to give away anything, I'll leave you with one final quote which, I think, hit me the hardest:

"We're sympathetic, and then it's time to eat.  We're

overcome with sadness for another, and then we fall

asleep.  Cancer, suicide, heart attacks, car wrecks, shootings,

are just the way of the world.  We pretend we're

shocked, but we're not.  Deep inside, not matter how

buried we are in comforts and stability, we know the

world is a dangerous and unpredictable place to be." (p156)

Thoughts?