Shitty Birthday to Me *WITH BONUS VIDEO*

I went home for the weekend to spend some time with my parents for my birthday.

It was nice.

We went out to eat (I had some great fried eggplant and pasta), we sat around and just chilled.  My mom made me a Brian from Family Guy...

It was a good weekend.

And then it was Monday.

I should have known what to expect. I had been there before interviewing for a different position and some part of my brain that wants to remain optimistic thought that it would be different this time and less taxing. I was wrong. I hate driving. I especially hate driving long distances by myself. Even though I had been there once before, it was still unknown territory for me and that always raises my anxiety levels.  

Since I relied heavily on my phone's GPS, it ran the battery out quicker than normal so I dared not play games while I was waiting to be called in.  Hearing the other people talk, it was very clear how things worked there and I knew from almost the moment I walked in that I wasn't getting the job.  Still, some part of me knew that if I just walked out like I wanted to, heads would turn and whispers would come out. So I stayed.

I was uncomfortable (I decided to put in an effort and wore an outfit that made me feel like I was cutting off the circulation to my torso) and the weather had gotten colder and I had no jacket. I felt inadequate and out of place.

People wonder why I never go out and have a life and do things... It's because it feels like THAT all of the time for me.

But I stuck it out. Went in to the interview, tried to smile and make nice with a little small talk, and answered their questions. It took about 5 minutes. Very anti-climactic end to a really elaborate build-up of shit.

And then I had to drive some more. This time, with the thoughts of how depressing this birthday has been while I sit in my car, still cold and uncomfortable, and do the drive of shame back home.

My sister was nice enough to take me out to dinner (we had planned to go out Wednesday, but she knew I needed it sooner) with my nephew. It helped to get my mind off things. Then we just watched TV and laughed over stupid things.

It was a really nice end to a shitty day.

So now I'm a year older with nothing to show for it. *shrug* But, what else is there to do?