Shitty 80's Horror Movie Review: Ghoulies (franchise)

If there was ever a comic relief genre for horror movies in the 80's, 'Ghoulies' would be at the top.  This was one of the most ridiculous franchises I have ever seen (and coming from me, that's saying a lot).  Little things coming out of toilets, okay yeah, that might skeeve some people out, but seriously, I could think of way worse things.

Maybe it's the whole summoning-a-dark-lord-demon-thing-from-Hell aspect that gets a little tiring after a while, but I was more looking forward to the end of the movies than I was laughing about the absurdities.

Ghoulies (1985)

Ghoulies II (1989)

Ghoulies III: Ghoulies Go To College (1991)

Ghoulies IV (1994)

Gah, and don't even get me started on the 4th one. Seriously, what the fuck were they thinking? They didn't even have clever sequel names for most of them,

2014 Reading: I Never Promised You A Rose Garden

I went into this book having no idea whatsoever of its subject matter. And I was very glad.

I Never Promised You A Rose Garden by Hannah Green (or Johanna Greenberg, depending on where you find it) has been on my shelf for years, sitting there collecting dust.  I think it was another one of those that I bought at a used book sale and then never looked at again.  As it turns out, I am really happy that I never threw it away without looking at it.

I've read lots of books on the idea of mental illness and what it might look like from the perspective of someone who suffers, but this one was unique.  I found elements of all different kinds within the head of the main character; from schizophrenia, sociopathy, disassociation, delusions... I know I'm not an expert and I nevere pretend to be, but vast amounts of reading will help you pick up on things. (A little time in therapy personally didn't hurt, either).

"The horror of the Pit lay in the emergence from it, with the return of her will, her caring, and her feeling of the need for meaning before the return of meaning itself." (p 31)

The main theme that I seemed to pick up was the fact that this girl's worlds (plural) were battling each other for dominance in her life.  She used the imaginary world as an escape from the horrors of the real world and was therefore not... present... most of the time.

There were some good points made in this book that fit in most of the ideals that most people hold when talking about psychological problems, especially dealing with those of self-mutilation.

"[...] I once had a patient who used to practice the most horrible tortures on himself, and when I asked him why he did such things, he said, 'Why, before the world does then,' I asked him then, 'Why not wait and see what the world will do,' and he said, 'Don't you see? It always comes at last, but this way at least I am master of my own destruction.'" (p 42)

In the end, I think what the author was trying to prove was that the real world can be scary sometimes and even painful, but one must endure it because the fantasy world that we create to escape to can become just as harmful because it creates a barrier and sometimes even numbs us to the world, throwing everything into dull grey.  When the main character finally lets the real world come back to her, she is so overwhelmed with color and feeling that she decides though the real world has hurt her since an early age, it's worth being in because the fantasy she created started to become cruel and manipulative.

But, besides all that, it was just really well written.

I think there was actually a movie made of this book. I'm anxious to see that.

*NEW VIDEO!* Purple Skittles

I know this video is hella late.

Meh.

I was feeling lazy.  There's a weather... thing happening. It's fucking cold.  The schools were all closed, no work, people afraid to drive because of ice (because when you live in the south, people fear change and get stupid when faced with something different).

Then I forgot to upload on Tuesday. Then it took 5ever to upload on YouTube today.  It's just been weird.

Let's Talk About: Sherlock (August 27, 2013)

Like so many other of the shows I love, I did not want to watch this one.  I thought it was a stupid idea, I thought BennyBatch was ugly and had a stupid name, and I wanted nothing to do with this at all.

Now I want to show you some of the Twitter/Facbook reaction posts I made while watch the FIRST EPISODE...

1. "Okay. Fine. I'm going to start watching BBC's Sherlock with the Cucumberpatch guy... *siiiiiiiiiigh*"
2. "UGH! I was not supposed to like this show. I resigned myself to hating it... WHY WON'T MOFFET LET ME HATE IT?!?! ::shakes fist::"
3. "::whimpers:: I wasn't supposed to like it..."
4. "His eyes are continuously moving. They're never still... And he always has this affronted look on his face, as if everything offends him..."
5. "WHAT IS THIS SHOW DOING TO ME?!?! #Sherlock"
6. "Showing Mom Sherlock."

Yeah. All that was in the first hour.  Two things got me: Riding crop. Voice.

Note the date: This was posted to my YouTube before season 3 aired so just keep that in mind.

*SPECIAL EDITION* Let's Talk About: Tombstone (August 13, 2013)

I decided to put my big sister in my vlog. We like talking about Tombstone. We like talking about the mustaches of Tombstone. Who doesn't?

I'm your huckleberry...

Shitty 80's Horror Movie Review: Critters (franchise)

Truth be told, I had never even heard of this series of movies.  I took suggestions from my Facebook and this one was posted by more than one of my friends as a must-see, so into the queue it went.

I thought they were adorbs and genuinely would be frightened of them if they were real (though they did remind me of Tribbles mixed with Gremlins).

Critters (1986)

Critters II: The Main Course (1988)

Critters III: You Are What They Eat (1990)

 Critters IV: They're Invading Your Space (1992)

Now I kind of play a little game with myself while I watch these movies: Find Brad Dourif!

Also, why does everything go into space? Why is space scarier than anything else they could have thought up? At least space is out and away from everything else.

2014 Reading: Invisible Darkness

"Why would anyone want to write a book about one of the most savage sprees of violence in North American history?" (Introduction, pg vii)

Why WOULDN'T they?!

It's no secret to anyone that one of the biggest passions in my life is serial killers. Movies, books, documentaries, memoirs, interviews... I can't get enough.

That being said, the next book on my list this year was Invisible Darkness by Stephen Williams, which is a true account of the events of Paul Bernardo and Karla Homolka (AKA the Ken & Barbie Killers in Canada).  I was familiar with the names and some of the actions before reading the book.  I am also a huge fan of the movie that was made about them called "Karla" in 2006 (mainly because Paul is played by Misha Collins, and anyone who knows me knows that I loves me some Misha).

I have talked about the movie to anyone who will listen since I saw it a few years ago.  There is this big controversy surrounding it because Misha says he hated doing that movie, that the director was psycho (and I think there was a restraining order against him at some point so he couldn't even come on the set), and he just didn't like the person he became while was getting in to the role. Here's something I wrote about the movie about a year ago when I was (unsuccessfully) trying the 365 Photo-A-Day project thingy:

[...] I know that Misha Collins hates this movie and wishes he had never made it and actively tells people not to buy it and not to watch it, but other than my love of all things Misha I HAD to watch it because of my love of all things to do with serial killers (NOT TO MENTION: my film school background). I think this movie is gritty and real and terrifying (like it’s supposed to be). It portrays two HUMAN BEINGS doing monstrous things (which is what frightens most people since they tend to let themselves believe that killers are just monsters instead of real people). Good art should make you feel something, whether it’s sadness or elation or complete and utter revulsion. As long as the feeling is REAL, any type of artistic expression (literature, art, music, film…) has done it’s job. And for me, this movie did its job. (Original Tumblr Post)

I figured, since I felt that way about the movie, I might feel the exact same way about the book.... That was not really the case.

I ended up taking a LOT of notes while I was reading this.  Just little things like my thoughts on the writing style and noting down some movie and book titles that Paul and Karla apparently liked.

The writing style is something that bothered me the entire time.  The writer does things from a 3rd person omnipotent POV, but keeps changing the focus of the story, sometime several times within a chapter.  First, he'll talk about Karla's thoughts, then jump back to her entire (extensive) family history, then jump to something that is happening across time now to a complete stranger, then focus on Paul, then jump to HIS extensive family history, then go back to someone else across town (maybe a police inspector this time)... and it just keeps going and going.

I sort of understand why he chose to write this way. Not being one of the two people about which this book was written, it's hard to get into the mindset without blatantly making shit up. SO, you have to improvise and get down what you do know. Facts.  Also, jumping from police inspectors, back and forth, is also a way of showing how Paul and Karla were able to get away with things for as long as they did.  The police were busy with other things and the horrible rapes/murders being committed around the St. Catherines and Scarborough area were just a few in a long line of unsolved cases that they were not remotely prepared to solve (either because of the lack of technology provided, or just general ignorance).

However, another aspect of the writing that I kind of found very interesting was that it reminded me of a mystery/thriller novel... Only, I knew who the bad guys were already and the violence just kept happening.

I don't know how reliable the narrator is in a book like this, but it brings the facts a kind of life force that merely reading a text book would not.  Ultimately, I think, more than anything else I've read or seen about these two, was that Karla was FAR more than just an accomplice/victim of circumstance. She had more than her fair share of delusions and schemes. Not to mention, she's described as a vampire: feeding off of the attention and sympathies and general energy of others rather than blood. Powerful stuff when you take into account her situation and the fact that it got her as far as it did in the trial process.

Bitches be crazy.

If you're into graphic depictions of violence and gore presented in a nonchalant, matter-of-fact way, then this book is for you!

If not then... Yeah, I'd find something else to read.

Let's Talk About: Queer As Folk [US] (August 6, 2013)

My friend Jessica really got me into this show.  It was really nice of her to give me her copy of season 1 while we were going through stuff in her house.  She and I still talk about this show in terms of characters' hair styles and who's dating who.  Like, I'll see a hot guy and say "He has really great hair!" and she'll ask "Season 2 Justin hair or Season 4 Justin hair?"

We're awesome like that.

Jessica, if you're reading this, we need to have a marathon so you can disagree with me for not shipping Brian/Justin with you.

*NEW VIDEO!* Let's Talk About: Brothers & Sisters

While the details are unclear as to how I got into this show (though I'm pretty sure it ended up being because of the chick from 'Six Feet Under' with a whole lot of Sally Field faces as a bonus.)

And even though my mother and I have sworn to hate Calista Flockhart 5ever because she had the audacity to marry Harrison Ford (on whom my mother has a gigantic school girl crush) I really loved Ally McBeal, so she kinda has a special place in my heart.

At first, this show just confused the hell out of me because there were so many people and I had to remember all of their names and ugh! Plus, it was just like a big huge soap opera with people dying and cheating on everyone, and secret siblings who are then not siblings, and then more secret siblings... It's usually not something that I would watch voluntarily (I am not counting the time in high school when I started watching 'As The World Turns,' don't judge me).

It's weird, but I never really got bored with the show. Even with all of the sharks they jumped, I was still in it until the end.

Let's Talk About: Star Trek [TOS] (July 30, 2013)

I can remember as a little girl, my brother and dad would love to watch the Star Trek movies and talk about the shows.  I, being the annoying little shit that I was (am), chalked it up to stupid boy sci-fi stuff and went back to... whatever the hell I was interested in in those days. New Kids on the Block or something (but I can't really joke about that because I still like them, damnit).

It's a sad story to tell, but it wasn't until the 2009 reboot that I really started to get to know the characters and wanted to know more about where they came from.  I piled through all that I could: books, comics, the original show, movies, fanfiction, Enterprise schematics, Klingon language tutorials, Vulcan anatomy websites (THOSE were interesting)...

I should now probably seek rehab.

(Note: since posting this video, I have decided to give TNG a second chance.  It probably has everything to do with Wil Wheaton's book Just A Geek, but I'll never admit it.)

Shitty 80's Horror Movie Review: Child's Play (franchise)

I kind of cheated and watched 'Seed of Chucky' first when it first came out even though I kind of had no idea what was going on.  I really enjoy Brad Dourif's voice (not as much as Doug Bradley, but, you know) and was really surprised that he shows up now and then in other horror movies as I watched them.

Child's Play (1988)

Child's Play II (1990)

 Child's Play III (1991)

 Child's Play IV: Bride of Chucky (1998)

 Child's Play V: Seed of Chucky (2004)

Even though there are only 5, I think they could have made more. They wouldn't have been GOOD or anything, but hey, sequels of shitty 80's horror movies are supposed to suck worse and worse as the numbers get bigger.

Let's Talk About: Heroes (July 16, 2013)

I am notorious for not even wanting to watch shows because my first impressions of them (whether it be from commercials or word of mouth from my friends or the internet) are usually ones of "Ugh, no. That sounds stupid."

I am almost always wrong.

Also, I kind of have that curse, where when I finally DO get into a show...

...it gets cancelled.

*NEW VIDEO!* Let's Talk About: Firefly

This was one of those shows that I thought was going to be stupid because, seriously, cowboys in space?  Yeah, THAT sounded weird to me.  Not to mention, I think I was still really upset that Buffy and Angel were gone, that I just kind of never forgave Joss Whedon and didn't want to give him any more chances to break my heart.

And then I watched it.

So I pretty much gave Joss ALL THE CHANCES to break my heart. And he took them. He took them all and used them to the best of his ability, which is considerable, and I have not been the same since.

People ask me why I ship Simon/Jayne... And I really can't give a good answer other than they are exact opposites. They hate each other to the extent that I think it's just overcompensating for some other deep dark feeling that both of them either can't identify (Jayne) or are too afraid to admit to anyone let alone themselves (Simon).

But maybe I just read too much into things.

I could find NO videos specifically for Simon/Jayne on YouTube. If someone finds any, please please please send them on over so I can add then to my collection.

A Few of My Favorite Things... (July 9, 2013)

There wasn't a regular update already made and ready to go so I improvised very quickly and made a little video around my house for the weak of July 9th.

It happens a lot. I'm lazy.

But, look! A cute puppy!

2014 Reading: Professional Idiot

Most people who are acquainted with me at least have a passing notion that I have a... thing... for celebrity drug users autobiographies.  I don't really know why it appeals to me as much as it does, but I've learned that there is no shortage of material to fill my desire so I indulge as often as I can.  I've read autobios on Errol Flynn, Carrie Fisher, Russell Brand, Brandon Novak, that Oprah guy (I know  the book started AFTER he was done with drugs and it turned out to all be fake anyway, but I still enjoyed the literary aspect), plus just a shit ton of books that aren't about celebrities (like all the Anonymous books) or even real people, just drug addicts.

That having been said, it will come as no surprise that my latest book is Professional Idiot: A Memoir by Stephen "Steve-O" Glover.  Yeah, he's the naked guy from Jackass.

...

Actually, I should narrow that down a bit more... He's the naked guy from Jackass who would swallow goldfish and throw them back up alive. THAT guy.

When you watch things like Jackass and Wildboyz, you'd think "Man, these guys are some kind of fucked up. I'd have to be out of my mind to do some of that stuff." Well, you're right. Oh, you have no idea how right you are.  Some of the stuff he tells about in this book would shock even the most hardcore Jackass fanatics (of which I was one, yes). He not only shines the spotlight on some of the horribly twisted and vulgar things he did before, during, and after filming, but those of his friends and co-stars as well. Very informative.

I was really delighted and surprised at how well the book was written.  I know that most people like Steve-O who "write" their autobios tend to have a little (more like a lot) of help from ghostwriters and editors galore. (You seriously think Brandon Novak wrote all that by himself?) I was ready to believe that about this book as well until I started to get deeper into it. I would think: "If they were at least trying to make it sound like he wrote it, they would dumb it down a little, right? This is downright eloquent..."

As you get further and further into the book, no matter the subject, whether it was ass cheek piercing, talking to voices that weren't there after too much coke, or peeing on the red carpet, the language, the grammar, syntax... it's actually gorgeous while still maintaining a voice that I can hear him speaking in my head. Then I came upon a picture (because of course celebrity autobios should have picture inserts. If they don't, they're wrong) of a sample of his handwriting (something he had written while he was in jail) and DAMN!

Not only is he surprisingly loquacious and articulate, his penmanship is fantastic!

I also like his attitude in the book. In most drug memoirs, you get all of this horrible feelings of the past, then this bright, cheery, overly simplified and unreachable goal for a future with no pain. Le sigh.  But this book has a realistic approach to both the good and the bad.  He looks back at the past with both fondness and a little regret. He takes responsibility for everything he did when he was under the influence (he openly admits to doing most things just for the attention), apologizes (but not in a douche-y way) and then turns his attention to what he wants to get done, but in a realistic way.  It might not be the shiny happy attitude that most former drug addicts have, but it's relatable and it definitely more interesting to me than those others.

There's a quote that sort of describes what I'm talking about:

"When people talk about addiction, they tend to ask, 'How bad did it

get?' 'What made you hit bottom?' For me, I didn't bottom out when I

was getting drunk and doing drugs. Right up until the time of my intervention,

I was pretty sure I was still having a blast. I hit bottom when

I'd been clean for a hundred days and finally saw what I'd become." (pg 296)

It does end on a somewhat upbeat, cliche former addict fashion. Talking about being healthier (he became a vegan as well, of course). But other than that, I thought it was a good read.

Shitty 80's Horror Movie Review: Phantasm (franchise)

There are not enough words to describe how much I HATED this series of movies. Maybe it's just that I'm not really that fond of the whole other dimension aspect of it. Or maybe the bad acting, which I tend to enjoy in other movies, was just SO BAD that I could not do it anymore.

The dude in the ice cream truck who was in, like, all 4 movies was horrible and not interesting.  The Tall Man, while intimidating, just did not exude enough of motivation for his actions for me to care.

Phantasm (1979)

 Phantasm II (1988)

 Phantasm III: Lord of the Dead (1994)

 Phantasm IV: Oblivion (1998)

Not my favorite. Not even close.

*Rant* Scam Calls

Got another call today from someone claiming to be from the government wanting to give me free money. This time it was an enticing $8,400 instead of the last sum of $7,500.  While I stuck around to listen for shits and giggles last time to the man with the VERY thick accent tell me that I had to put $280 on a money card a "test" to make sure it was really me and tell them the card information where the rest of the money would be put later.  I told him I'd get right on that and then hung up, giggling to myself and wrote on Facebook about it:

Yes, I'm totally going to believe you, person claiming to be from the Federal Government offering me free money. I'm especially convinced of your legitimacy because of your lack of English skills and what I'm sure were 'official business office' noises coming from your end of the call. I will definitely be handing over $280 so that you can send me my $7,500 of Federal grant money, which I'm sure will arrive promptly in my bank account within a reasonable amount of time. - November 15, 2013

He actually called back an hour later to see if I'd done it yet. By this time I was done and just told him I wasn't going to fall for it and to stop calling.

This time I only listened long enough for the woman, also with an even worse thick and almost imperceptible accent, to tell me I could only get the payment in the form of a Wal-Mart money card (which I know FOR A FACT cannot hold more than, like, $3000 at one time) before I hung up on her.

I would make a rant about "How can people think this will work?" or "Who is stupid enough to fall for that?" but the truth is, after five years in the Money Center of Hell-Mart, I've seen those stupid enough to fall for this shit.  I wanted to strangle them for getting duped so easily.  Like, seriously, you get an email from someone claiming that you've won the Guatemalan lottery of 250K FANTASTIC! BUT in order to get the money, you have to first send them $1,500 for processing....

Really?

I think one time I actually emailed them back and said something to the tune of: "Take it out of the 250K, then send me the rest."

Needless to say, I never heard from them again.

I wish these people who keep calling me would get that same idea.

2014 Reading: The Killing Club

Third book of the year is The Killing Club by Marcie Walsh with Michael Malone.  This book was something that I picked up at a library sale not too long ago because I liked the title and the cover was all red and black (I know you're not supposed to, but I put a lot of stock in the cover of books I buy).  I failed, however, to notice the giant sticker on the cover that emphasizes "As Seen On 'One Life To Live' ABC Daytime"... THAT above anything else might have been a deciding factor in my purchase of the book had I seen it first. Because, let me tell you, I am just thrilled that I'm reading something featured on a soap opera... </sarcasm>

The book seems like the plot to one of the bad soap operas that little old ladies watch after they retire. What is it about retirement that makes most women want to collect cats, read shitty romance novels, and watch "her stories" before having the early bird special and then going to bed at 6pm? If I ever get like that, shoot me. But then again, my perfect day now, at 27, is rolling out of bed at noon, reading fanfiction (the higher the age rating the better, thank you very much), watching movies about serial killers while sitting amongst my Star Trek memorabilia collection eating Chef Boyardee out of the can before curling up in bed to watch Twilight Zone until 3am...

But I digress...

I don't quite know what I was expecting. The concept of the book is very familiar: group of high school kids have a game where they imagine scenarios of getting away with murdering people, then, years later, people start dying the way they described them when they were kids. 

One of my first thoughts was: "Holy shit! My friends and I used to do that..." But we never wrote them down, so no incriminating evidence for us. HA!

The next thing I thought of is how much this book reminded me of Valentine by Tom Savage (which was turned into a movie as well in 2001).  It may not be exactly the same, but the plot is similar and I just couldn't stop comparing the two.

The writing style is not my favorite. It's not bad, per se, but this writer has a tendency to repeat themselves A LOT. Full names, physical features, relationships to other characters are said over and over and over again, not only when the characters are actually interacting, but also in the mind of the narrator, the main character of the book.  There's only so many time you can read that 'So-and-so, a tall, well-built, brunette with blue eyes and chiseled jaw who was married to my late sister, who died of cancer four years ago, had a beer' before you just want to shout "ALRIGHT I GET IT, MOVE ON!!!" at the unresponsive pages in your hands.

That having been said, despite many books/movies that are similar to this that I have read/watched over the years and have gotten to the point where figuring out how it's going to end within the first ten pages/minutes is down to a science, the ending of this book managed to surprise me even if it wasn't exactly the way I would have LIKED it to end.

If you like short mystery novels with lots of description (necessary or otherwise), then I can recommend this book to you. If you're into serious mystery, I could maybe find something else for you. Meh.

On to the next book.

Let's Talk About: Buffy (July 2, 2013)

This was one of my very first obsessions ever in the entire world.  This was my window into not only the Whedon-verse, but also the nerd culture in general.  It was the very first show I became more than passionate about (I would turn off the phone, lock the doors, and not speak to anyone on Tuesday nights while it aired) and it sparked my interest in something that has become a HUGE part of my life (whether that is a good thing or not); fanfiction.

Also, yeah, I play with toys.

Don't judge me.

*NEW VIDEO!* Let's Talk About: Six Feet Under

I decided to weave the new videos in with the old ones in here so that when everything is caught up, everything is REALLY caught up and I wouldn't have to postpone putting up these new videos just because I hadn't finished posting the older ones.

This week's video goes to one of my very favorite shows in the whole world, Six Feet Under.  I was late, VERY LATE, getting into the show (like, it had already ended late) but that doesn't mean I don't absolutely adore it.

I don't think there was any part of this show that I did not enjoy (except some characters). But was far as the story and the plot... I liked it all. I loved the style of the show, with the death at the beginning and then a sort of themed story that went with it. Some of the guest stars were fantastic (Zachary Quinto, Chris Pine... though sadly, not in the same episode).

AND BEN FOSTER! Who could forget Ben Foster! Also one of my favorite parts of the show.

Seriously, if you have not seen Six Feet Under, please do.

Let's Talk About: Supernatural (June 25, 2013)

I still haven't really figured out how I am going to catch up on all the vlogs I've already done while still maintaining to try and do new ones every week or so.  I think I might split some time between doing book vlogs and TV vlogs just to give me some time to actually watch the shows and read the books that I would like to talk about.

So, I'm going to start scheduling some of these past videos to be posted here on a regular basis (probably Mondays and Tuesdays) just until all are up to date and I can start posting the new things as I upload them so they are fresh and I don't have to worry about scheduling any more.

Horror movie catch-ups will be happening every Friday for a while until all those are caught up, but then they will be happening one at a time like they are on my Facebook.  I know, the suspense will kill you, right?

Right.

Anyway, so here is the very first 'Let's Talk About' I did.  Keep in mind, this was before season 9 had started and I am also really shitty at talk. But, you might have already known that.

I fucking love this show.  I hope it goes on forever and ever and ever and the fanfiction never stops.

2014 Reading: The Journey Out

I don't remember why I have it or where I got it (though it's most likely from a book sale my first year of college when I wanted to read all the things) but yesterday I read and finished The Journey Out: A Guide For and About Lesbian, Gay, and Bisexual Teens by Rachel Pollack and Cheryl Schwartz. It has been sitting on the shelf since I bought it, most likely confusing those who bother to look at my shelves and wonder why I have such a book in my possession.

Not gay, by the way. Just a big supporter.

Though most of the information in the book is cliche and outdated (it was published in 1995), it was still pretty valid.  It's mostly one of those self-help books that lets you overcome curtain things in your life, like those "How To Deal With Death" books or something like that.  HOWEVER, just like every other self-help book, it is EXACTLY the same as EVERY OTHER SELF-HELP BOOK.

It has the same one-size-fits-all advice that you could give to anyone in just about any situation, it just happened to have more LGBT friendly jargon in it.  I'm not saying that is a bad thing or that I would not recommend the book to anyone looking for advice in this area, but the problem with it being so outdated is that the information it has can be found just about anywhere in mass quantities without need for a little book to tell you what to do and give you the confidence to do it.

I also would like to think that times have changed in the past nine years (maybe not as much as we all would like) for some of these things to be understood without being said.  However, there are always exceptions and at the time of its publishing, I'm sure this book was useful and relevant and helped many people who needed it. I hope.

There is one quote that I'd like to share, something that can be advice to anyone and everyone, no matter the sexual orientation.

"A loving relationship with another person is based on your relationship with yourself." (p39)

I wish I'd have known that in my last few... no, ALL of my relationships.

I think I'm going to keep this book on my shelf a while longer. Maybe someday I'll be able to pass it on to someone to show that someone understands.  I want to be that person.

Shitty 80's Horror Movie Review: Hellraiser (franchise)

Having never seen these movies before, or reading the book, I went in with a good attitude.  I fully expected shitty graphics, bad acting, and messed up reasonings behind actions.

I was not disappointed.

We begin with the original 'Hellraiser' from 1987.

 Hellbound: Hellraiser II (1988)

Hellraiser III: Hell on Earth (1992)

Hellraiser IV: Bloodline (1996)

Hellriaser V: Inferno (2000)

Hellraiser VI: Hellseeker (2002)

Hellraiser VII: Deader (2005)

Hellraiser VIII: Hellworld (2005)

Hellraiser IX: Revelations (2011)

Needless to say, I was not thrilled with the new remake.

Officially, this has become my favorite series (despite having not seen a lot at this point). I love Doug Bradley and I think that I want his voice in my brain at all times telling me to do things and then saying that I am a good girl and I deserve a reward...

...

What?

The S&M aspect of the movies appeals to my sense of sensuality in pain and I feel like this is one of those movies where the "bad guys" are really more under appreciated and blamed for giving people what they ask for even if they don't think of the consequences of their wishes.

Call me, Doug!

2014 Reading: Blood and Circumstance

So, I made it a mission to keep track of all the books I read this year. Because I read A LOT.  I had been throwing around the idea of doing something for it on my YouTube channel, but then I just figured that since I hate being in front of the camera as it is (as you can tell from my stellar performances in my vlogs so far), I might as well just do them on the blog.  I'm being all gung-ho about it right now anyway, but don't worry, that might change after inevitable failure.

The first thing I decided to read (something small so that I could just get my brain back in gear after finishing The Butcher Boy which made me hate POV/stream-of-conscious/British people, and if you know me, you know I LOVE those things most of the time) was Blood and Circumstance by Frank Turner Hollon, who, I did not know until I finished the book, is a lawyer in Alabama. The more you know.

I found myself really enjoying this book. It was a quick read (I would have finished it sooner had I not attempted a social life and also gotten distracted by episodes of 'Alfred Hitchcock Presents') and turned out to have some of my favorite subjects tied into it without being too gory. (I like serial killers, let's be honest.)

For me, this book tied in themes of religion, philosophy, as well as mental illness, and just plain psychosis and the power of the mind within harsh situations.  It got straight to the point without being too succinct, but also had just enough detail to be relatable and intriguing.

...and doesn't THAT sound like something that a book reviewer might say?

Ugh, whatever. I still liked the book.  It had some parts that I really identified with, such as the subjects on God and the possibility that life ultimately has no meaning except to the individual, and the all around pessimistic life view that I have was mirrored by the main character.

I've taken the habit of marking pages that I find interesting or arousing (mentally as well as physically) in the books that I read and there are three particular sections that stood out to me while reading that I thought I might share.  It's not my intention to give away any spoilers for the book, but I really wanted to point out some of the things that I loved about reading this novel.

"'You know, how do we really know anyway?  How do 

we know that when I see red, it's the same red you see?  

Why is it we believe there only one realty, and not a different 

world through different eyes?  It's comforting to 

believe there's one truth, but who the hell can really say 

what's rational to me was rational to Danny?" (p75)

This reminded me of so many discussions in Philosophy class.

"[...] There are three groups of

people.  All of us fall into one of the categories.  There are

certain people who will fuck up their lives no matter

what.  There are certain people who will succeed no matter

what.  And then there's everybody else, all those people

who will fuck up or succeed depending on the place in

this life, their parents, circumstances beyond their control.

  Victims, or beneficiaries, of the world." (p112)

Now, that's just me every day of the week.  I like to think I fall into the third category, but moments (a lot of them) tell me that I might be in the first category.  It's a sad thing to think about yourself, but maybe that's just my reality; the way I see my own reality.

"[...] It's just the idea of God doesn't fit.  If time and space are infinite, 

and nothing we do really matters, why would 

God put us in such a place?  And if we're required to recognize

 the bleak reality to survive, and then take the next 

step to self-reliance, where is God in all that?  I'm not a 

devil worshipper.  I'm a realist." (p129)

I've never really been religious, even though I was brought up in a Catholic household (not strict or anything), but this is a question that I've heard a lot, whether it be from friends of mine who are atheist or just my own head when I'm thinking too hard about life when I'm stuck in self-misery (often).

There are no real answers that I can gain from this book, but it was a very good read and I would recommend this to anyone who listens.

While trying not to give away anything, I'll leave you with one final quote which, I think, hit me the hardest:

"We're sympathetic, and then it's time to eat.  We're

overcome with sadness for another, and then we fall

asleep.  Cancer, suicide, heart attacks, car wrecks, shootings,

are just the way of the world.  We pretend we're

shocked, but we're not.  Deep inside, not matter how

buried we are in comforts and stability, we know the

world is a dangerous and unpredictable place to be." (p156)

Thoughts?