2014 Reading: A Royal Kiss

Oh look, someone published their Mary-Sue fic.

2014 Reading: Crackpot

The full title of this book (aptly so, I might add) is Crackpot: The Obsessions of John Waters.

I loved this book because it made me feel better about the little things in my life that I take joy in. Like office supplies, serial killers, and Schadenfreude.

Rather than being a comprehensive story, this book is actually just different sections where John talks about different things: growing up in Baltimore, how much he loves shitty film, and how he thinks tabloids are the only papers worth reading.

It was nice to get a little incite into his brain. Yu can find the inspiration for some of his movies in the stories that he chooses to tell, like Hairspray and Cecil B. Demented. He also encourages people to just go nuts and do whatever the fuck you want, because then at least you're not just wasting away into nothing.

According to John, it's better to dead than be boring.

2014 Reading: Freak Show

I want to make this book into a movie. I am not even kidding. I could SEE this movie happening in my eyes as I read. I even cast it (though I must admit I was casting it with people from Teen Wolf, but no one can prove that).

At first, I was a little exasperated because the main character might as well have just been a younger James St. James from Disco Bloodbath, but then he actually started to grow on me. This character WAS James St. James, but a newer, younger version who grew up in today's world. However, he's still very much a club kid, which you really don't see very much these days so you kind of have to stretch the imagination a little bit.

I wasn't expecting a happy ending, but I got one anyway, so that was nice and gave me the warm fuzzier and whatever.

This was book #60 of the year and I am so happy that I've made it this far.

2014 Reading: Deliverance

So, four guys with extreme ennui go into the woods...

...stuff happens. Butt stuff.

Then people die.

This book was very slow going for me. It took me a while to get into it and I found that I really didn't want to finish it once I started. BUT! I soldiered on and finished it. Now I can finally watch the movie.

2014 Reading: Every You, Every Me

"You know one me. Just like I know one you. But you can't know every me. And I can't know every you."

This was just a short little read that I picked up in the young adult section of the library. 

I like the scratched out bits, like the character was writing out these thoughts and kept having to change the wording around to fit the mood, or keep some of his thoughts to himself rather than let them out on the page.

Naturally, the premise of a character we never get to meet can be a hard one to understand, but I think it fits the randomness of the story. Plus, that opening quote... Wow. I never thought of that before, but I know it's true. For everyone.

2014 Reading: Flowers in the Attic

I started this book one day while I was visiting my sister and instead of being outside at the park, I went into the library next door to chill. I picked up this book at random and the next thing I knew, I was over 50 pages in. I had other things to read before I could really start anything else, so I put the book back, but now that I am done with the hard stuff, I can go back and have a little fun with it.

I've never seen the movies or anything, but I still kind of knew what the story was about before I began reading.

Wow, just wow. I don't know how much else there is to say about it. I'm now anxious to read the other books in the series and I think I will.

It makes you wonder what a life shut up in an atti would be like. These kids made the best of what they had, but how long could that possibly last without sending someone into madness? Or sin? (I don't really care much for calling it that, but with the contents of the book, it just felt like the right word.)

I would have gone to the police. Screw having her feel guilty for losing her children, I'd rather she felt guilty for trying to kill those children just to get money. Go to the cops and she loses the money, AND goes to jail and she can feel guilty there. She may have been your mother, but she turned her back on you long ago.

2014 Reading: Crash

Now, this is a book that inspired the movie. The GOOD movie, not the racist one.

There is one thing that I have to get out of the way first, I bought this book used on Amazon because I could not find it anywhere in the library systems to which I subscribe. So, to the internet! I bought this copy that said it was in "Good" condition and being a frequent user of Amazon, I had an idea of what that was supposed to mean... Obviously, the girl who was doing the selling did not. I know for a fact that it was a girl. I know her name. I know she was reading this book for a school assignment (probably college because this is not the kind of book that one reads in high school). I also know that she is closed-minded and ignorant.

Listen, I don't care if it IS for an assignment, DO NOT WRITE IN BOOKS! And if you ARE going to write in books, SPELL THE WORDS CORRECTLY! Jesus Christ... I tried to ignore your stupid obvious comments and useless rhetoric, but you insist on scribbling in huge print (with green and purple pens, no less) and my eyes kept getting drawn to your asinine  commentary instead of focusing on the BOOK! Fuck you and your judgement of this literature.

Anyway, now that I have covered that, I never want to think about it again. Ever.

I saw this movie several years ago and it wasn't until I was doing a random search for new books to read that I discovered that it was, in fact, based on a book. I knew that I had to possess the book as soon as possible. After much rigmarole, I obtained the book (tainted as it was).

I enjoy the darkness of this book. The continuous comparison between the bodies of cars and the human body is fascinating as well as sexual. There are also elements of life appreciation in there as well. Obsession with crashes and scars could be seen as an obsession with the shortness of life expectancy (especially in this world filled with fast-moving machinery) and appreciating the beauty of the damaged rather than pitying it.

I am not saying that everything in this book is completely sane and reasonable, but I do see the appeal of the other side of this fantasy life that the character seem to be leading.

After I finished this book (like I did when I finished the movie) I felt the need for a shower for multiple reason, both to cool off and to wash away the mental grime that built up from the story.

2014 Reading: Fifty Shades Trilogy

These count as books 53-55! Alright, my friends are going to drag me to see the movie in February so I knew that I had to read the books before then and I wanted to get it over with as soon as possible.

For the first book, I filled almost an entire composition notebook with the mistakes and my thoughts on the story chapter by chapter. All that did was make me have to stop and think of everything that was happening more than I EVER wanted to and that made me very, very angry.

I don't know what I'm going to do with the composition notebook full of notes, but it's there and maybe I'll type it all out one day and publish it or something.

As it is, I never want to think about those books again and would very much like to just move on the the next thing.

2014 Reading: Prince Lestat

This is my 52nd book of the year. 52 was my goal and I am happy to say that I am going to surpass that, at least by a little bit.

It has been YEARS since I read an Anne Rice book. I moved on to bigger and better things (plus there was that whole thing where she turned crazy religious all of a sudden and I didn't want anything to do with that nonsense). But then, over ten years after I had given up on The Vampire Chronicles (as well as Anne Rice and her rediscovery of God and whatever), here comes Prince Lestat, out of nowhere, mucking up my plans.

I can honestly not remember all the things that took place in the dozen or so books that came before this one. There are names I don't recognize, hints at stories that don't remember happening, etc. it was like having to relearn everything all over again and then immediately learning that all of that was wrong anyway!

There's a name and a consciousness to the entity that created vampires in the first place, Akasha and Enkil had a son, there's a voice coming out of nowhere, ancients that we've never even heard of that know everyone and everything, Lestat has a human son and also has been the "uncle" to a human girl for 20-some years, there's ghosts and shit now... I was so confused.

But once I put my confusion aside and just read for the pleasure of it, I really started to enjoy myself and I really liked the book. It actually had a happy ending for once. Lestat will forever be the charismatic Brat Prince and now everyone is together and happy, blah blah blah.

Even sour Louis is happy by the end, and THAT is saying something.

I heard there was going to be at least another book after this (perhaps more) so I'm actually looking forward to reading that when it pops up.

What I'm NOT looking forward to, however, is what I have next on the agenda.

Pray for me, boys and girls. I'm going to try and tackle 50 Shades of Grey without killing myself.

2014 Reading: Stolen

I. Love. This. Book.

I know that I have this weird thing where I like books about serial killers and kidnappers and horrible things done to people who don't deserve them... but... Don't judge me.

There is always this underlying sexiness that comes with kidnapping (I know not really, because in reality is the scariest fucking thing that can happen to someone and traumatic and everything), kind of like when we think of death as being romantic, or vampires being sexy and mysterious. Kidnapping and the idea of Stockholm syndrome works in much the same way. A kind of, well not "brainwashing" per se, but a complete psychological redirection of thinking where someone can begin to care for and even love the person that has taken them from what they know and completely taken over their lives.

And if for one moment you think: "OMG, she's cray-cray. Who could ever think that kidnapping is romantic?!" then all you need to do is look into your childhood VHS collection, pull out 'Beauty and the Beast'... and shove it up your ass. Because reasons.

I normally don't like books written in the first person (I have no idea why), I really enjoyed this book because it was kind of half accusatory statement and half love letter. It was beautifully written.

Honestly, this book could have gone either way (you'll get that more if you read it) and I think I would have been fine with both outcomes. THAT'S how beautiful it was.

2014 Reading: Son

Weeeee!!!! Finally found out what happened to the baby Jonas saved in the first book!!! But before I get into that further, yay Jonas and Kira getting together and having babies and shit.

Okay, so I'm really kind of glad that, in explaining what happened to the baby that Jonas escaped with in The Giver, they first explain where the baby came from. I loved going back into that world of the "perfect" society and seeing it from another perspective.

I personally feel that it was a bit of a cop out to make the figure of the Trademaster to be a pure evil entity (even going to so far as to allude that it was, in fact, Lucifer) rather than a being with abilities like Jonas, Kira, Matty, etc... It sort of put an unnecessary religious aspect to the storyline, as well as Faustian.

All in all, I'm really glad that I read these books, but I think The Giver will always be my favorite. The open ending (for me, at the time anyway) appeals to me in a way that closure can sometimes dull.

Still. Yay! On to the next.

2014 Reading: Messenger

Yay! A storyline that actually follows the book before it!

And Jonas! Finally found out what happened to him, damnit. But I would like to know where the other people in Village came from. I suppose that is going to be in the next book. (I hope).

This one was a little different in its storyline because in stead of the society that oppresses its people causing them to uprise or escape to freedom as with the last two books, it was all a matter of a person and their inner feelings and wishes. Sort of like society today, where we have all the advantages, but then we begin to turn the eye of negativity on ourselves and find fault.

A little bit of Faustian voodoo going on here, people selling off their souls, or the deepest selves, for material things as well as outward beauty and strength where before, those kinds of things had no great importance in this new village of broken people.

I hate that Matty died. I hate that he had to sacrifice himself for everyone else. The rest of these books have sacrifice, no doubt, but the main characters have always survived somehow and have gone on to make things better. I wish that there would have been some other way to save everyone, but I didn't write the book so there you go.

I like to hope that Jonas went on to marry Kira and were finally happy.

But now I have one more book left to go in this series and I guess we'll find out what other questions will be answered and what new ones pop up.

2014 Reading: Gathering Blue

Being a big fan of The Giver, I was both excited and fearful when approaching this book. I know the movie is going to blow so hard and it will make me weep on the inside for literature's sake. BUT, I wanted to keep an open mind. At first, I didn't know any books existed that were considered companions to The Giver, but then I found that the only way they are related is a sense of post-modern life dictated silently by a government-type monster who keeps everything hidden from those who live in that society.

I liked the book. It was a nice short read (unless you are horribly good at procrastination, which I am) and the writing is just fantastic.  

I like the way Lous Lowry talks about color. Both in this book and in The Giver, color plays a very important role in the societies that she creates. In this book color tells stories, but you find out that those stories are dictated by those that run things behind the scenes. Certain colors, in this case blue, mean hope for the future, especially for the main character.

There are two more books that are considered companions in this series so I think that those two books will be next in the list.

2014 Reading: Touch

I had never heard of this book or this writer before, but I wanted something small and light to come after I Know My First Name Is Stephen and this one sounded kind of interesting.

The back cover of the book made it sound like this kid, who is a hacker, was going to use his skills on the computer to find out that his dad was maybe a secret agent for the government and who was now in trouble and had to be rescued or something.

Nope.

Turns out his computer skills were completely unnecessary and all he does is find out that his father has been touching his step-sister inappropriately.

The end.

Meh.

2014 Reading: I Know My First Name Is Steven

Ever since reading A Child Called 'It' and the other books about childhood abduction/abuse, I had been on the lookout for other books on the subject that peeked my interest. I saw this book as a possibility and went through a pretty rough ordeal to get it in the first place. No where around here had it, none of the library systems I troll around had a copy, and I finally had to resort to looking in far-away systems to see if ANYONE had it in the whole state. My first request for the interlibrary loan was denied (no reason given), but I tried again and finally got a copy from... somewhere. I have no idea.

I took my time reading the book because I knew that I wasn't going to be able to just skim through it. (And it totally wasn't because I've been lazy or anything like that, nope...)

It really makes you think about your own mind when you hear about something like this happening. If you were suddenly pulled from the street when you were 7, told that your parents could no longer take care of you so they gave you to someone that you've never seen before in your life, and then for the next 7 year this new "parental figure" sexually molests you repeatedly (along with your school friends)... what do you think you would be like at the end of all of that?

In some ways, he began to trust the old man. He confessed, after everything had come to an end, that he was thankful that the man had taken care of him...

I just...

I don't really know how one responds to something like that. And then, it being the 70's-80's, the parents thought that he didn't need any profession (read: psychological) help! You don't come out of something like that without having SOMETHING to discuss with a doctor. It may have been a sore subject that he would just as soon forget, but everyone should know that you CAN'T keep something like that in the back of your mind for long before it bursts out in some form or another (as it did with his drug use and tragic death in a car crash) that can be more harmful than the thing itself from which the person is trying to hide.

OH! AND THEN, to put one last candle on this marvelous cake of happiness, the boy's older brother (speculatively, because he was jealous of all the attention the brother was getting when he was finally returned home) became a serial killer.

One. Big. Happy. Family.

2014 Reading: Sex and Violence

This book, being in the young adult section caught my eye one day and I knew that something had to be different about it. I picked t up and read the synopsis inside the jacket and found this:

Sex has always come without consequences for seventeen-year-old Evan. Until he hooks up with the wrong girl and finds himself in the wrong place at very much the wrong time. After an assault that leaves Evan scarred inside and out, he and his father retreat to the family cabin in rural Minnesota—which, ironically, turns out to be the one place where Evan can't escape other people. Including himself. It may also offer him his best shot at making sense of his life again.

Well, needless to say, I was intrigued.

The concept of the book is a good one, although I must say I thought it was going to take a drastically different turn than it actually did... Oh well, that's what I get for having such dirty thoughts in my head.

I do have to say that the one thing that really pissed me off about this book was the fact that the main character was 17-18 and he uses these juvenile terms for sex... Like, "doing it" or "making it"... I don't think he once calls it a grown up term. Sex. Fucking. I mean, it's not like there was no cursing in the book, there's TONS in this. Plus, there's drugs and alcohol and violence... and he says things like "boobies" and "my thing" in regards to his penis...

I like to think by the time I was 17-18, I had figured out more interesting terms for sexual organs.

And truthfully, I expected more PTSD. That may sound weird, but I am an odd person who loves other people's pain.

2014 Reading: Hyperbole and a Half

This book was hilarious. But it was also kind of sad and true.


There was a giant section on depression that feels like she literally wrote down all the things that would go through a person's head when they feel like nothing is worth getting up for. The vicious cycle of emotions that you run through within a very short amount of time that all come spiraling back thinking that getting out of bed in the morning is seriously not worth the effort.


Then there's the chapter about her mentally retard dog and everything turns funny again.


Delightful.

2014 Reading: Hunt and Run

Stargate Atlantis. 'Nuff said.

Seriously, this book was basically glorified fanfiction and the only reason I picked it up was because it had a big picture of Ronon on the cover. Mmm, Ronon.

Maybe I should do my next vlog about Stargate: Atlantis.

2014 Reading: Role Models

Some of us want hot, lunatic porn sex and want it forever! (pg 228)

There are two people whom I want to be like when I grow up: RuPaul and John Waters. Since I already read the RuPaul autobio, this choice of book was perfect for the next in line. I didn't even know it existed until I saw it in the library and knew that I needed it right away.

John Waters is one of my idols. I love everything he does and I love the things he chooses to be. He is hilarious and I really wish that I could just spend a day in his brain. His sense of humor is often even more disturbing than my own and I respect that. Sometimes, it's nice to know that you are not the weirdest one out there, you know?

I love that this book sort of gets into his motivations a little bit and people he looks up to as well. He likes people and things that I have never heard of, but then again, he also likes a lot of the same things that I do. I trust his judgment (except when it comes to going into dangerous bars. That might be something that I'll avoid, thank you very much.) In fact, he gives a list of books that he loves and recommends to everyone, and I think I am really going to check them all out (if I can find them, some of them are pretty obscure) because they looked very interesting.

Failing can be a relief for some. A sexual position. 

A way of life. A choice. Some kind of happiness that never 

lets you down. (pg 284)

His outlook on things really makes me feel better. He embraces the stranger and the ugly. He is not afraid of being laughed at or yelled at, he actively seeks it and sometimes I just wish that I were like that. I wish that I could take everything that was thrown at me and make something of it.

This book was hilarious and insightful and I highly recommend it.

2014 Reading: The Treatment

When you find out the explanations for the outbreak of suicides and depression, it kind of makes sense. We are giving antidepressants to kids at younger and younger ages and it has to have some type of impact on the chemical make-up of kids over time. And then, like evolution, it gets passed on to their kids and so on and so on until the pill is not going to be enough, because they didn't really need it in the first place. Not to mention that yes, most antidepressants can actually bring on MORE suicidal tendencies. Who needs that in their system when they're already depressed? Why would you want it in your system when you're NOT depressed? I know that this is a work of fiction, but this might be a legitimate thing that could happen in the future. Not the Program part, because that would be insane to think about, but the outbreak thing. Of course, with the way the world is, they would just make the drugs stronger and stronger until no one could feel anything anymore.

Don't get me wrong, I take antidepressants. Because I actually need them. But, you have to admit that doctors are just giving pills out to anyone who comes into their offices like throwing medication at it will make them go away. I tried therapy first, then medication, then I tried getting myself off the medication. I ended up having multiple breakdowns, slept 14 hours a day, and basically gave up on my own life (at the same time scaring the shit out of my parents and friends). In the end, the medication was the best thing for me. But at least I tried other things first. I didn't WANT to be on medication. Ask anyone, I HATE having my life and happiness depend on a pill every day. But without it, I cease to function. Literally. I just stop.

I am definitely not saying that now I am the epitome of mental health. Far from it. But I have a job and I get up every day. I even manage to socialize every once in a while. Sort of.

I honestly didn't mean for this to turn into a personal account of my pathetic life, but this book duo made me think about myself a little bit. I found myself mentally telling the characters "Hey, get over it." when I know for a fact that it's not that easy. That's what people have been telling me for years and I know how it looks from both sides now.

All in all, I really enjoyed these books.

2014 Reading: The Program

I saw these on the shelf and I thought "Huh..." so I decided to try them out. I'm glad I did.

The subject matter is kind of weird to me, but I think that's what makes me like it so much. It describes depression and suicide as this contractable disease that spreads through teenagers like mono. Where just being exposed to it can put you on alert because you WILL get it next, no exceptions. Having been through some depression, I know that it doesn't work that way. But, still... sometimes looking at it this way, I feel like this is how the rest of society looks at it (the people who are idiots anyway). I don't think the concept of the story is bad, though. It's a lot deeper than that.

It sort of reminded me of my thoughts on Carrie Fisher's second book where she talks about how ECT has helped her a lot, but it also makes gaps in her memory. The premise of "The Program" is basically the exact same. They want to take away all the things that might have been triggers for depression, but when you come right down to it, those triggers might be in everything around you, even the happy things.  So if you get rid of them, what is left? Do you just go on and start again, not remembering ANYTHING from before? Will you never really know who you are again? Forget all the people you've met and relationships you've had, good and bad?

Would that really be the best thing? I would think that a person would be even more depressed after something like that. If I were to wake up tomorrow and not remember who my friends are (or were back in high school), if I could never remember falling in love for the first time (and the heartbreak that came with it), if I forgot pets or vacations or books and movies... I think that above everything else would be the thing that would make me close to ending everything. Because the past is what makes you who you are. Without that, you're just an empty shell.

I don't think I could handle that.

I guess some people wouldn't mind the chance to start over with a clean slate. Maybe that's what I'm supposed to focus on...  Plus, there's the whole underlying moral of the book that true love can last through anything, even the loss of memories, but still... I tend to focus on the weird/darker things before I can get it into my head that I'm just supposed to be entertained.

There's a sequel, which I have just started so I know that I might have more on this subject, but those are the things that I'm thinking of right now.

2014 Reading: Horns

I saw the preview for this movie and I have to admit, I got really excited for it. I had never heard of it and I didn't even know it was a book until it came across the desk at work and I got it out right that second. I'm excited to see Daniel Radcliffe do something like this. I want to see him do darker things (I don't count the Woman in Black, because I want tough, cursing Daniel). I also had no idea that Joe Hill is Stephen King's son.

You can tell where he gets his sense of humour from, though.

I found myself laughing during parts of this book. I think it was the dry, dark humour of the main character that appealed to the funny little part of my brain that laughs at inappropriate things. Schadenfreude.

On the whole, it was a very entertaining book and I am anxious to see if some of my favorite bits will be translated on the screen.

There were some good parts about religion in there, too. (I'm guessing "Joe" at least shares some of his views with his dad). Why do we think of the devil as an enemy? If God warns us not to sin because it's bad and Lucifer punishes sinners, wouldn't you think they are working together? Two sides of the same industry? Going toward the same goal?

The ending, I thought, was also a good fit for something like this. It doesn't end all sunshine and roses because it's just not that kind of story. It ends like most things do: quiet and final, with as much realism as something like this can. People die, other people move on, and secrets are never really found out so that the rest of the world is better off. It just... ends.

Like life.

Shitty 80's Horror Movie Review: Night of the Comet

I don't think the people in this movie realize the severity of their situation.

This is why we can't have nice things.

Night of the Comet (1984)

2014 Reading: A Brother's Journey

In some ways it was good that I read this right after A Child Called "It". It was fresh in my memory and any of the facts that were written in one book, I could easily compare it to that last book.

In other ways, I think I should have waited a little while. I think I held such sympathy for David that hearing any other tale, even if it agreed with it, was difficult for me. I know that a part of my brain was thinking that Richard deserved what he got, and I know for a fact that that is wrong, wrong, wrong. No one deserved that. Still, a selfish little part of my brain wanted him to suffer like David did. Does that make me a horrible person?

This book was not really as detailed as the other, but the feelings evoked were similar. More than anything, it re-iterated the fact that the mother was very, very sick and that the figures of authority in and around the area where these people lived was despicable. The police in the area only took away the one child from an abusive, alcoholic parent with no income and a history of violence? They left four other boys there with her? And the other people around ignored the behavior as it was repeated a second time? Teachers? Principals? Doctors?

What the fuck was wrong with this town?!

I understand that it was San Francisco in the 70's, but holy shit...

Also, one thing that didn't sit right with me was the ending of the book. You never learn what happens to Richard. He's still living with her at the end of the book and you never find out if he stays until he leaves for college, or if he gets out sooner, or if the mom moved on to yet another son with her abuse...

I need to know these things, guys. For science. And my own piece of mind (AKA: my creepy case of Schadenfreud).

I think I'm done with books about child abuse for a while. (Edit: That's a lie. I have one more to get through right now. Don't judge me.)

2014 Reading: A Child Called "It"

I heard about this book a long time ago in my sociology class when I was in college. It was on a list of potential books that we had to read to write a report. I, of course, being who I am chose the book about the drug addict instead of the one about the abused child. I don't know what that says about me, but whatever. This book was going to someone at the library and it caught my attention again after all these years and I decided to give it a try.

I am not ashamed to admit that parts of this books made me want to throw up. No matter how deranged I think my mind can be sometimes, I will never understand this kind of treatment of a child. I mean, I understand that the mother must have had mental problems aloing with her alcoholism, but another thing that just makes me sad is the general neglect of everyone else in this boy's life.  Teavhers, friends, siblings, nurses, doctors... his own father. They all knew what was happeneing but no one did anything about it.

There are two other books that go with this one, but I don't think I am going to read them. I think that this book by itself was a tale that needed to be told and gotten out into the world and the rest is just page fillers in order to make a couple of bucks. Not to say anything bad about the writer, but I think the story should have ended there.

It was an easy read, but also, I think, a very important one.

*NEW VIDEOS!* I Suck At Life + Boy Meets World

I made a very very late video for the 4th of July, but then I figured it wasn't worth posting and then I just kept forgetting. After the forgetting, I just kept avoiding it until we find ourselves in the situation we are now.

I've been reading a lot, and not much else.

I don't know.

I'm actually thinking of not doing vlogs anymore, but maybe just blogging about the shows instead. I think I might be able to get more out that way. I feel self-conscience in front of the camera and I know that I don't always get out everything I want to say in a single video. I'll think about it some more.

So here's the late late late video

So then today, I get a message from my friend who says that she needs me to vlog today.

Meh, who I am to argue.

2014 Reading: Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead

I saw the movie once, many years ago, and I remember thinking "This is hilarious! And also sad."

It's not really a secret that Hamlet is my favorite play of all time and I've seen just about every adaptation of it available. I love the speeches and the story and the characters... I mean, you can't go wrong. 

Except Mel Gibson's version, which I don't want to talk about.

 I love thinking about these two characters as they appear in this play. Their lives begin with the summons to Elsinore. There is literally NOTHING before that for either of them. They begin not knowing who they are or where their going and must learn so along the way. They meet everyone and around every corner is a foreshadowing of death but they don't know it yet. And just when they find out who they are and feel like they've accomplished something in this small world they've been thrust into, they are executed. Thus dies two characters who never really lived.

I think they best part was the very last scene and Guildenstern seems to go through all five stages of grief in a mere moment. Brilliant.

Now I wanna watch the movie again.

And the players! I don't think I've laughed as hard as I have at the first meeting they have with the traveling players.

This was a nice little detour before I get back to the rest of the books I have piled up to read.

2014 Reading: A Million Ways to Die in the West

Okay, so I have a huge crush on Seth MacFarlane. Sue me.

This was exactly like watching the movie.

That's about it.

*shrug*

2014 Reading: Daughters of Eve

Okay, this book was horrible!

Seriously, at the beginning of the book, I was totally on board with the whole girl power thing. One of the first things I write for this update was: "One of the character's brother said something about not helping to clean up because he wasn't about to practice being a housewife, and the parents just went along with it and continued to force all the housework on the girl... Oh hell no... HELL no."

But then, it just kept getting more and more ridiculous. HUGE exaggerations of misogyny and female oppression (even for 1979) spawn even grander acts of female empowerment and radical thinking.

Okay, I'm a feminist and all, but holy shit.

And then it ends, with little to no resolution and everyone gets away with everything and lives happily ever after. WHAT?!

Definitely not one of my faves, Lois.

Shitty 80's Horror Movie Review: Pet Semetary (franchise)

Okay, so since I didn't post last week (because I am lazy) I decided to combine the two in this series to make up for it.

I had never seen these movies before, but it's one of those things that you always hear about from other people.

There are some things I would like to know though, like:

What the fuck was up with the mom in the first one and her story about her sister? It had NO bearing whatsoever in the story line.

Why did the old guy, who KNEW that burying things in the crop circle (because that place was, like, 20 miles away from the actual pet semetary) would turn them into evil flesh eating zombies, tell that dude about it in the first place? So the fucking can got run over by a truck. Shit happens. Get another fucking cat. Ugh. People are stupid.

Pet Semetary (1989)

Pet Semetary II (1992)

2014 Reading: Killing Mr. Griffin

I decided a while ago to just gta ALL the Lois Duncan books and finish them off one by one. So, after the seriousness that was the last book, I wanted to go with some easy, short books.

Holy shit, that kid was a psychopath. I mean, I've had some tough teachers, but none that I've hated THAT much.

And seriously, what was with Sue saying she loved Mark at the end?! I thought she was all into David (you know, the nice one) but then, when she's being burned alive by the man no less, she says she loved him...

WHAT?!

That was one of the weirder books by Lois Duncan. But, meh, what can you do?

2014 Reading: A Stolen Life

This book was kind of hard to get through. Not because of the writing or grammar or anything, but just he subject matter. I know that I talk a lot about loving serial killers and how I find them fascinating and a little bit sexy (but not in a creepy way), but this kind of thing... when it's about a child... I just couldn't read it for very long at one time. I found myself talking a few breaks over the day and just going to do something else.

I really admire Jaycee. She is far stronger than I would have been if I were in her shoes. It makes me think about all the things she missed out on: school, prom, first boyfriend/heartbreak, going to a teen party and getting drunk for the first time... making stupid teenage mistakes that we all make in the process of growing up into the people we are bound to become.

I made the mistake of beginning this entry while listening to sad, dramatic piano music("Finding Balance" by Michele McLaughlin) and though I realize it's silly, I feel a little nostalgic for childhood. I know that my childhood was nothing grand to write home about, but I would gladly give it to her if I could. Mistakes and all.

I honestly don't know what else I can say about this book.

I'm glad that I read it.

2014 Reading: Reached

I utterly DEVOURED this book. It is probably 50% bigger than the other two and I read it in half the time.

I still don't know exactly why I could not put any of these books down. All I know is that they were fantastic and I wish that I could read them all over again.

There were things that I expected to happen, and then there were things that I didn't expect to happen and I just loved all of it, even the sad parts.

Seriously though, I was completely right in my first assessment: 1984, Fahrenheit 451, and The Giver had a love child and it was this book series . And I could not have been more pleased.

I don't know what else to say. If you are reading this blog and you hold anything of what I say as even remotely possible, let alone true, then read this series. Read it and feel my feelings, damnit!

2014 Reading: Crossed

This is seriously becoming one if my favorite book series. I could not put this book down. Except for work, sleep, and the occasional break to catch up on my TV shows, I was reading this book ALL. THE. TIME.

It's been a while since I had a visceral reaction to a story in a book. The first time was when I almost threw up while reading Exquisite Corpse (one of my fave books of all time), I cried during the last Harry Potter book, and I cried during The Fault In Our Stars. I've always thought that true art should cause a reaction, no matter what that action might be. When Cassia and Ky found each other in the canyon, I had to shut the book and hug it to my chest for a minute before I could continue.

I am starting the third one this very minute and I cannot wait to see how it ends. At this point, it could go either way. I'm not even making any predictions about this, I just want to be taken along for the ride.

Whee!!!

2014 Reading: Matched

I. Love. This. Book.

Imagine if The Giver, 1984, and Farenheit 451 had a love child. That is this book. Also, I swear it's like a really good fanfiction (seriously, I think I read a fanfiction that had this basic premise once) and I mean that in the best possible way.

I don't know what it is lately, but the plots of some of these new young adult books are FAR more interesting than most of the adult books I've come across.

I don't know what it says about me that I like this kind of book. People living their perfect lives in ignorant bliss and then finding out that the world is just a big pile of shit and they've been happily wallowing in it for years. They finally see the cogs that run the machine and who is behind it all. Ugh. I love it.

Maybe it's part of the schadenfreude. I want to see people's perfect existences crumble right before their eyes and make them face the fact that the truth has been staring them in the face for the longest time.

I already have the second and third waiting for me (I learned my lesson with Maze Runner) so I can just jump right in. I CANNOT WAIT!

2014 Reading: Summer of Fear

I promised myself I would finish these tiny books as quickly as possible. So, with nothing to do on my day off, I sped through this one.

I called the ending by page 24. Sure, they added a supernatural aspect to it, but my hypothesis was still the same and I was right on all counts.  It was kind of a predictable story line when you think about it.  All the supernatural element did was make the choices and actions of some of the characters more easily forgivable.

Seriously, though... Did teenagers really talk like that back then? I mean, really? Is there evidence of this somewhere? Some bit of unscripted film footage that I could look at and finally know for sure if people from the 60's really did talk like that? I would really like to know.

Yeah, these books are fun if you just want something short to read and you can finish them really quickly before forgetting all about it and start on something completely different.

I'm thinking of it as a kind of mind-sorbet. Cleanses the mental-pallet.

2014 Reading: Ransom

GLENN IS A SOCIOPATH!

Seriously, if anything with this book stuck with me, it's the fact that the Glenn character is a fucking sociopath to the highest degree and should probably be in therapy and DEFINITELY be in jail. Wow.

But anyway... I wanted something lighter for a little while so I got three more of the tiny Lois Duncan books to fill in the gaps before I started another major book.

Man, one theme that keeps coming back to me as I read her stuff is that kids just DON'T talk like that. I don't even know if they ever did, even if it was in 1966. If they did, then I feel so inferior to them. By, like, a lot.

Once again, this book left me wanting to know what happened to the characters after the action died down. I wanted to see if Jesse and Dexter got together, I wanted to see what happened after Bruce found out his brother was a fucking psycho and decided to not cover for him anymore.

THESE ARE THINGS I NEED TO KNOW, LOIS! For my sanity!

2014 Reading: Silence of the Lambs

I know that there were a lot of books in between the first one and this, but, meh. I don't really care. It's not like I'm dying to know what happens. I've seen the movies.

I figured I would read something to lighten the mood...

I am awesome like that.

Okay, so where the Red Dragon movie basically followed the book to the letter, Silence of the Lambs was a little different. Not much of a difference, mind you, but enough for someone like me (who pays WAY TOO much attention to insignificant details) to take notice. Some lines of dialogue, some character descriptions (though even good casting can so that sometimes). Stuff like that.

I think the most notable difference is the detail that they put into Jame Gumb. There was a lot of background and home life that was never put into the movie that I think was important for the character. His upbringing, his mentality, and the way he dealt with things would have been a good addition to the movie rather than just introducing him as a psychopath with little to no motive for wanting to make a woman suit.

I'm also glad that they ended up going over Jack Crawford's character a little more in this book. There was some more info on his wife that was previously unknown unless you watched the Hannibal show.

This one I could not help but imagine Anthony Hopkins voice in my head the entire time. Or the voice of Ted Levine as Buffalo Bill (even though the characteristics are COMPLETELY different for him).

I think some more light ones are coming up. I'm giving myself a little break.

2014 Reading: A Father's Story

Alright, so I saw this one on the shelf at work and I knew in my heart that I could not pass it up even though I had already started on another book. But, come on... You know how much I love serial killers, right?

Right?!

If you were to ask me which of them I prefer, which one I am the fond, which I can semi-identify with (though not all the way because as the last book pointed out: not a sociopath. remember?), I would definitively tell you, without doubt or hesitation, Jeffrey Dahmer.

I have certain feelings about why Jeff did what he did and I was happy/surprised to see that his father Lionel, the author of the book, came up with some of the same conclusions. There was a particular passage near the end of the book that described my feelings perfectly.

This dread of people leaving him had been at the

root of more than one of Jeff's murders.  In general, Jeff

had simply wanted to "keep" people permanently, to

hold them fixedly within his grasp.  He had wanted to

make them literally a part of him, a permanent part,

utterly inseparable from himself.  It was a mania that

had begun with fantasies of unmoving bodies, and

proceeded to his practice of drugging men in bath-

houses, then on to murder, and finally, to cannibal-

ism, by which practice Jeff had hoped to ensure that

his victims would never leave him, that they would be

part of him forever. (p 216)

The whole part about wanting to keep someone as a part of you forever...

...Doesn't that sound exactly like nearly ever book, movie, and song describes love?

That's one of the main reasons why I find Dahmer so interesting. (The movie with Jeremy Renner helped as well. If you have not seen it, I suggest you do.) I have had feelings similar to this (without the cannibalism or any of the creepy bits) but to keep someone so close that you almost seem to become one. It's what most people dream about. Jeff (because I feel like we're intimate enough to be on a first name basis) just found a way that worked for him but didn't exactly work for the rest of the world.

Now, before you write me off as a sick hybristophiliac (look it up), I do not condone anything done by him or any other killer. I just get it, okay? I get it.

It was clear that this book was written and published before Jeff was murdered in prison, but I honestly don't know if that makes it better or worse that his father put this out into the world. There are the certainly expected passages of "What did I do wrong?" coming from Lionel in this book, as you might expect from the father of someone who does horrible things, but I found that I was not put off by it as much as I thought I would. Usually, I find the words of parents, friends, etc. completely self-aggrandizing and unnecessary, however, I thought this book was a little bit better than that. It gave me some insight into the family that I would not otherwise have had. 

(Yet another reason I feel comfortable calling Jeff by his first name. We're BFFs like that.)

Shitty 80's Horror Movie Review: Curse of Chucky (Child's Play franchise)

Okay, so when I initially did my review of all the Child's Play movies, I had NO IDEA that this 6th movie even existed. I happened to see the preview for it on some DVD that I was watching and it shocked the hell out of me, because this is the kind of thing I don't want to happen. I have a feeling when I first looked up all the Chucky movies, this one wasn't actually out yet (plus it went straight to DVD anyway) so I won't make too big of a deal about it.

SO, here is the sixth (and final... for now) Child's Play movie. And now I can get on to other things.

Child's Play VI: Curse of Chucky (2013)

2014 Reading: Confessions of a Sociopath

This book took me a little longer than normal to read because it is far more complex than what I have been reading. But, that is not a bad thing. The subject matter is something that has interested me for a long time and I'm glad I just happened to be in the right place at the right time to spot it at the library.

It's refreshing to find a book on sociopathy that's not simply a text book. This is written from the perspective of an actual sociopath, and while there are more than a few number of technical terms and psychological jargon, it also has the personal (if somewhat detached emotionally) feelings straight from the mind of the person afflicted.

I went into this book thinking I would have a lot in common with the writer, maybe get some answers for my own life.

...

No.

I can confidently say that that there is pretty much nothing sociopathic about me. (When I confirmed this with my mother, she just looked at me and went "Duh...")

There were several things in this book that caught my eye and I thought I would share with everyone. While I did not agree with everything that was said by the author (not a sociopath, remember), there were certain things that I could just not help but to agree with.

She talks a lot about her religion as a form of being able to tell, not right from wrong, but a set of guidelines that could see her through her life and allow her to blend into society far more effectively. She did this without fully believing every word that was written, too, because as a sociopath she questioned what she read rather than just taking it as law. I agree wholeheartedly with this.

[...]The "opposition" in the

Mormon faith is Lucifer, who became Satan, and who has a

rather interesting and detailed backstory.  Born a spirit child

of God in the premortal world, he is our spiritual brother and

was considered one of the brightest stars in heaven until he

rebelled and became our necessary opposition.  This was great

for God, because his pan needed a villain: "man could not act

for himself save it should be that he was enticed by one or

the other."  And what about Lucifer?  When I first heard this

story in Sunday school I thought that Lucifer was almost a

too-convenient patsy in God's plan.  Did God trick Lucifer into

rebelling? Maybe make some deal with him under the table?

Or maybe God created Lucifer specifically for this purpose?

Mormon scripture says "there is a God, and he hath created all

things, both things to act and things to be acted upon."  Was

Lucifer created to act instead of be acted upon?  Was I? (p133)

This is how I feel about religion on the best of days! I REALLY hate talking about religion, but this same topic has been something that I have discussed over and over again with people who are more religious that I and want to know what got me away from the church. And now I don't want to talk about it anymore. Religion is one of those topics that you can't really discuss at all because everyone just ends up getting offended over the stupidest shit.

[...] Asked to choose

between having power and giving up power to a "trusted" en-

tity, people often prefer to give it up rather that have the re-

sponsibility that comes with that power. (p176)

This is also something that is near and dear to my heart and something that I have tried to convey to many people when it comes to many things in my own life. It's not all laziness, it's not wanting to be responsible for the failure.

I had another passaged lined up to put down here, but then I thought I would just leave it at this and let you read it for yourself if you are so inclined.

I would definitely suggest this book, just keep in mind all the technical jargon and subject matter which may make you start looking at the people around you in your every day life and try to analyze them without letting them know. It's a little addictive.

*NEW VIDEO!* I Don't Know Why I Bother

Shitty 80's Horror Movie Review: Demonic Toys (franchise)

These technically started in the 90's but since one of them was a crossover with the Puppetmaster series, I thought it might be worth it to finish out the series.

I was wrong.

Demonic Toys (1991)

Demonic Toys II: Dollman Vs. Demonic Toys (1993)

Demonic Toys III: Puppet Master Vs. Demonic Toys (2004)

Demonic Toys IV: Personal Demons (2010)

This actually marks the end of all the horror movies that I have stacked up. From now on, I will probably only be posting one movie at a time. I've already got the next few series lined up in my head. I know that I need to watch the new Chucky movie that I had no idea existed until a few days ago, and I also want to watch something special from my 100th movie.

We shall see.

2014 Reading: The Death Cure

I finally got tired of waiting for a copy to become available at the library, so I just went and bought it.

I am so glad I did.

I had all kinds of things going through my mind as I was reading this: Would they survive? Who was WICKED? To what extent did Thomas have to do with the testing? Was WICKED really good? Who can you trust? I JUST WANT TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENS!!!!

I honestly don't know what I would do if I were in the situation that Thomas found himself. I think I would have just given up and died in the maze or something. All I know is that I could not have survived as long as he did or done the things he did to help others.

I usually don't like dystopia books, I don't know if I said that already or not, but this book series was awesome and I really enjoyed it. I can't wait for the movie to come out so that I can shamelessly ogle Dylan O'Brien while judging the film makers by how much they stuck to the original story. I've been doing that a lot lately. It's what happens when they keep making movies out of books.

There is a prequel out there (which I also bought) so I might get to that at some point but it won't be the next thing I read because I have already started another book that I found at the library and I actually don't know what to expect from it. All I know is that it's a subject matter that interests me greatly and I think I am going to enjoy it. I hope.

Until next time...

Shitty 80's Horror Movie Review: Friday the 13th (franchise)

Wow, I'm starting to run out of these now. I need to start watching on a regular basis again so that I can keep putting these things out.

Okay, so, this series...

So much Ed Gein references. Much.

Friday the 13th (1980)

Friday the 13th II (1981)

Friday the 13th III: 3d (1982)

Friday the 13th IV: The Final Chapter (1984)

Friday the 13th V: A New Beginning (1985)

Friday the 13th VI: Jason Lives (1986)

Friday the 13th VII: The New Blood (1988)

Friday the 13th VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan (1989)

Friday the 13th IX: Jason Goes To Hell: The Final Friday (1993)

Friday the 13th X: Jason X (2002)

Friday the 13th XI: Freddy Vs. Jason (2003)

Friday the 13th *Remake* (2009)

God... 12 movies. TWELVE! All in all, I was happy with this franchise. I'm not saying I want any more... because I don't... but they were better than some of the movies I've watched for this blog *coughPhantasmcough*

2014 Reading: Red Dragon

I was amazed by how much the movie followed the book. AMAZED!

It's refreshing actually, to find when that happens because it is so rare. I mean, yeah, you have to take certain things into perspective because not everything can be translated from page to screen, but they actually did a very awesome job with it. So, bravo movie makers!

I've had all four of the Hannibal books for quite some time now and I am just now getting to them. I needed something to read while I was waiting for the third installment of the Maze Runner books so this seemed like a good time to break out the Thomas Harris. (BTW, I ended up buying the Maze Runner books because I was becoming too impatient waiting for it to become available at the library so I'll be getting to the last one next anyway. Oh well.)

I kept a lot of things in mind while I was reading Red Dragon. I tried to remember what I could of the movie, plus all the other movies in the series (I haven't seen Manhunter, though, because I heard it was a giant pile of crap, but whatever). I also have been watching the TV show that they made with the characters from Red Dragon and I tried to keep that in mind as well. I much prefer picturing Hugh Dancy as Will as opposed to Edward Norton (no offense to Ed, but Hugh played the part with more pain and sadness, which I think was more akin to the feelings in the books). But, as always, Hannibal to me will forever and always be Sir Anthony Hopkins. No doubt.

I could hear their voices in my head as I was reading. It was awesome.It's actually made me a little weary of reading the rest of the books because I know I'll be comparing them in my head and I'm afraid the rest aren't going to even COMPARE to this one on that front, but I must press on.

Going inside the mind of a serial killer, even a fictitious one, is a difficult thing to do, but Harris does it so simply. Everything he wrote down is something that I can believe goes through the mind of someone who might be inclined to do something destructive like that. I really admire his writing style because it is neither complicated nor simple. It gets the point across very well, but without bogging it down with technical jargon or long, drawn out descriptions. You see from the eyes of the killer, but also from the eyes of the people witnessing the after effects of the killing.

I can't wait for the rest of them.

2014 Reading: William Shakespeare's Star Wars

He turned... the womp rat story... into the St. Crispin's Day speech...





I'm gonna go ahead and say that again in case you didn't hear me.



HE TURNED...

...THE WOMP RAT STORY...

... INTO THE ST. CRISPIN'S DAY SPEECH...

I don't...

How...

What...

2014 Reading: Down A Dark Hall

I think this is going to be my last Lois Duncan book for a while. I have too much other stuff to read. Plus, they are so short, I kinda want to space them out a bit so I don't read them all at once. Three at a time is enough, right?

Typical ghost story, I guess. I'll tell you, though, if I noticed some of the things that the main character was noticing, I sure as fuck would not have waited as long as she did to confront someone about them. Fuck that noise. I would have been the one demanding answers and then finding a way to climb over the fences to get to a phone.

In many ways, I like the way this book left off: abruptly but with hope for the outcome of the characters, but another part of me wanted to see her confront her parents in "HA! I FUCKING TOLD YOU SO!" way. Also to see what ever became of her and the quote-unquote romantic interest in the story. Sure he was part of the evil scheme from the beginning, but he had no idea and I think he really cared about her. Sort of. Eventually.

Yeah, I think I'm going to move on to other things a while. These books are goo for a very short read so they get my numbers up for the year, but I'm ready again for some of the more in depth stuff. Maybe I'll start another series or something.

2014 Reading: A Gift of Magic

Should have been called "Stubborn 12-year-old Brat Selfishly Tries To Ruin Everyone's Lives With Her Weird Psychic Powers."

Seriously.

Throughout the entire book, I wanted to smack this little girl in the face. I understand that to some extent, a person of such a young age can be somewhat emotionally unstable, especially in the face of divorce and big life changes, but come on! This girl was a nightmare. She thought of nothing but her own happiness and actively tried to ruin the lives of her family just so that she could have them all to herself with no one else to interfere.

And can we talk for one second about the poor choice of covers they have for this book?

Nancy, the psycho main character of this book is LITERALLY described:

"Her wheat-colored hair hung straight 

down her back, and her brows and mouth were 

straight lines across her face with her nose a 

straight line down its center. She was twelve 

years old, but her body was still as thin as an 

arrow." (p 4)

Now keep that in mind as you look at this picture:

No.

Who was in charge of this? 

You had ONE JOB!

2014 Reading: They Never Came Home

This book was really odd. The concept is a familiar one: boy gets in trouble with the law (smuggling "dope" across the Mexican border), decides to leave and never come back, takes money, runs away, but then for some reason decides to take his friend with them... What? He pushed him down a mountain or something and tells him they're brothers when he wakes up with amnesia.

...

Riiiigggghhhhhtttt...

It's like the plot of a really bad telenovela.

But of course, in books like these, everything ends alright. The guy with amnesia's girlfriend find out he's alive and YAY happily ever after and stuff.

So much of this book was kind of odd for me to grasp. Maybe I just didn't like the fact that the girl was placing so much of her life on the guy (something that I have done in the past and have since learned to abhor now that I know what it does to people) that she just decides to stop her life when he goes missing and they think she's dead.

Maybe it's the character of Frank who is CLEARLY a sociopath. He seems to have no emotion and seems to not identify with anyone in his life and was even willing to kill "his best friend" in order to leave everything behind, not caring about his family or anything else he was leaving behind.

Maybe it was the fact that at the end of the book, you never hear what happened to Frank, the little brother who helped the girl find out what really happened to the missing boys. I came to feel strongly for Frank while I was reading and then by the end of it, I was left with nothing. NOTHING.

What happened to you, Frank? Dan and Joan, what did you tell people when you got home and everyone found out you were still alive? Dan, how did you explain you coming back but not Larry, who, by the way, is DEAD now?

You can't leave me like this, damnit! I need to know!

2014 Reading: Out Of My Mind

THIS BOOK WAS AMAZING!

I saw it while I was shelving in the children's center in the library and after I read the back, I knew I HAD to get it. The concept, if pulled off correctly (which it was), is a fascinating idea for a story. Frankly, I'm surprised it's considered a children's book at all. It was so well written out and mature.

The only thing I can think of is that it's from the perspective of an 11 year-old so that may be what gives it such a low rating, but it holds up as a good book for just about anyone.

I devoured it within a few hours of finishing The Scorch Trials and I am very glad that I did.

The concept of being stuck in your own head and having no way to communicate with anyone around you is something I cannot even fathom. I think that I would go insane with my own thoughts. The character in the book, Melody, is super intelligent but has no real way of getting that out there and you start to feel for her right away. I tried to imagine what it might be like, to not be able to express yourself like other people did, to begin to feel as if you were a burden to those around you, to be so intelligent but have everyone think you're not because of something like cerebral palsy. I honestly don't know what I would do with myself. I don't think I am a strong enough person to deal with that kind of thing, which just makes this book even better.

I highly recommend this book because it's a semi-short read and the story is fantastic. I'm really glad I picked this up.

2014 Reading: The Scorch Trials

I pretty much devoured this book as soon as my hands got on it. I just really want to know what's going to happen. I am invested now.

It just sucks that I started, like, 3 books already before I got to this one. Oh well, they all get to take a back-burner so that I can finish this series. (Unless it takes forever for the third one to come in, then I'll just read whatever I can grab in between.)

I never mentioned this in the review for the first book, but I kinda really don't like dystopian literature. Or anything dystopian for that matter. I don't really like zombie movies, and I think the only movie that I really enjoyed that had to so with a sad future was "Metropolis" but only because I watched it in a film class and mainly enjoyed the aesthetics of such an old silent film.


But, I really do enjoy this series so far. I hope that I'll enjoy the third one (and ending) as much as I have the other two. With the way they left it off, I have NO CLUE what is going to come next.

Shitty 80's Horror Movie Review: House (franchise)

I had never even HEARD of this franchise before, and some of the people who said they saw it had no idea there was more than one. So, that should tell you how popular it was.

House (1986)

 House II: The Second Story (1987)

House III: The Horror Show (1989) 

 House IV: Home Deadly Home (1992)

2014 Reading: The Maze Runner

Let's be honest with ourselves, the only reason I even picked up The Maze Runner by James Dashner in the first place is because the movie is about to come out. A movie that stars Dylan O'Brien. Dylan O'Brien who is one of the only reasons I watch Teen Wolf. Because I wanna do awful things to him in a darkened room. Repeatedly.

But you didn't need to know that.

It's one of those books where you just have no idea what the hell is going on. Which, as it turns out, puts you in line with the main character, so you're okay! You learn WITH the characters at their pace.

If they do the movie right and don't change much, it has the potential to be a really good story. I realize that some of the aspects might be difficult to convey on camera, but it still has boatloads to offer. If they do it right. (I'm just going to enjoy the flock to barely legal dudes running around for 2 hours like the perv I am, anyway.)

The concept is a bit familiar by the end: dystopian society doing all it can to try and fix the problems that have come up by breeding and training a new hope within children.

I admit, I am still a little confused but since I know that this is a three part series, I know I've still got more to get through. As soon as I can I'll be starting the second in the series.

On to the next one!

*BONUS VIDEO!* True Blood: Godric

When I was talking about True Blood in my last video, I COMPLETELY forgot to talk about one of my favorite story lines of all time. I am so ashamed. As soon as I found out, I immediately shot another separate video just for him.

I just have a lot of feelings, okay?

Shitty 80's Horror Movie Review: Killer Klowns From Outer Space

THIS MOVIE WAS FANTASTIC!

I watched it while I was intoxicated and could not stop laughing. And I hate clowns!

And the music was spectacular.

At some point, I'm pretty sure I texted my friend and said that I was going to scare sober!me by making a really creepy close-ups picture of one of the clowns as my background and then when I woke up (not remembering anything) I would piss myself when I turned on my computer.

...As it turned out, she talked me out of it, but I still had a ton of screen caps on my desktop and I texted her the next day:

I also apparently claimed that I was going to rewrite the script for the movie to make it more modern and then send it to Tim Burton and insist he be as dark and R-rated as he could be with it. And I think I cast the key roles of the movie as well. Something about Johnny Depp being the ice cream truck and Armie Hammer as the police chief or something.

I am completely awesome when I am not in my right mind.

*NEW VIDEO!* Let's Talk About: True Blood

This is another one of those shows that I just avoided at all cost. One day, my sister told me to at least watch the very first episode (she was still mad that I had gotten her hooked on the Twilight books).

I made it about 2 minutes in before I shut it off and then walked away. It was so BAD. The accents were horrible (I live in the south and hearing it every day is bad enough, but these people were MURDERING an already bad sound and it just hurt my brain), the acting was terrible, and it was YET ANOTHER vampire show to crop up form the craze that swept the world a few years ago and has still yet to end. I wanted nothing to do with it.

But I finally sat back down (after about a week) and made it through the first episode. Ugh.

I kept watching because my sister still liked to make me feel guilty about the Twilight thing and then FINALLY we got to the good stuff. And by "good stuff" I, of course, mean the first appearance of Eric Northman. Hellllloooooooo......

I'LL TAKE IT!

I decided to read the books sometime after that and... Ugh. Again. It's horrible. It is just horrible literature (much like the Twilight books), but there is just something about it. You know that you are going to hate every moment of it, but you just have to keep reading to see what trash the writer is going to come up with next.

I went through all of the Twilight books just waiting for steamy, sparkly vampire sex... Nope. Not a damn word.

I went through this, hoping for... Well, I don't really now what I was hoping. Something astounding.

I'm still waiting.